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[ My Tumblr | jemappellemelanie.tumblr.com ]
[ Hearts | were never ]
[ meant | to race ]

The story of the Travelling 10 Baht [Mar. 17th, 2012|11:43 pm]
[Current Mood |exhaustedexhausted]

1st to 5th March 2012.

These five days has been filled with nothing but a pure bliss of fun, relaxation plus shopping till we dropped! If you didn't know, this is only my second visit to Bangkok. However, this time it a was more independent, raw holiday and I was intrigued by how real it was. It's my virgin trip with friends and am glad it was with Si Jie, Dora and Jia Ying. It has been 2 weeks since our return but I'm still suffering from Bangkok fever. Indeed I miss all the sumptuous Thai  food, shopping at the various shopping landmarks and I'll especially miss those massages after a major day of shopping, which I must say is a great therapy for your feet after a major day of shopping. 

Although our flight was slightly delayed, it didn't stop our anxieties. Oh and not only was it my virgin trip with my friends but also my first time flying an airline other than a budget airline! How depressing is that? Anyway, the food we had onboard Thai Airways' Boeing 777 was surprisingly de-lish and exquisite! Could have had more but was saving my tummy for some Thai cuisines. I had a plate of Black pepper prawns with salad pasta and bread rolls plus tiramisu sliced cake :) My flight experience with them was a great start to a taste of what Thailand might offer me. Watched 3 new episodes of Two and a Half Men, a great source of entertainment because my two dear dear friends siting on each side of me was busy watching their own movies. Hahaha. Once we arrived at Suvarnabhumi International Airport, we were greeted by a sight, sound and smell of an amazing holiday experience that has yet to come! 

We took a cab to Budacco Hotel which was our humble home for the next five days. This hotel was rather hard to find but was located near a well-renowned hotel in Bangkok called Baiyoke Sky Hotel which was apparently Bangkok's tallest building. It is also located at Pratunam and in the heart of a vibrant fashion market and also a stones throw away from Platinum Mall! Located at a secluded area, my expectations of our hotel deteriorated. However, once we managed to find it, I was stunned as we were welcomed with a ceramic platter consisting of four glasses of Fruit Punch and hot towels. I must say, even though we stayed in a budget hotel, the service delivered was surely sincere and professional. All the staff were just so nice and pleasant. They are really great hosts for our holiday away from home. The rooms were design with a simple concept with different colours for you to choose from. Plus points were that we had free breakfast, hot bath, free Wi-Fi, spacious room for two, remarkable room service and a pump in the toilet- excellent! Our deluxe rooms were so inviting and made us feel so comfortable.

After settling down for a  couple of minutes and unpacking the bare minimal, we began our gastronomic adventure with a trip to MK Restaurant at MBK Shopping Centre for some steamboat! Our cab ride there only costed us less than 10 bucks which was perfect. After a sumptuous and inexpensive meal, we walked around MBK to find iPhone covers plus some grocery shopping! More pictures are up on my Facebook!
    More to come!    
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Can't believe it has been a month [Mar. 7th, 2012|05:38 am]
[Current Mood |sadsad]

It's 5:27 in the morning and I just got back from sending you to the airport. These tears are uncontrollable and I'm just missing you so much. I look around my room and thoughts of our sleepover just run through my mind. The moments we shared we great and I wished you didn't have to go. Though I'll see you again one day, maybe in December, the thought of it scares me. December seems too long but what if you can't come back in December? I love you cc but I must understand your decision to go. Now as I try to sleep, all I can think about is the great times we had these past month. I already miss you. All the best for your college applications and wish to see you on FB and WhatsApp more often. It's not a goodbye but a see you soon so yea, see you soon cuz! Hope you liked what I bought for you from Bangkok :)

With love,

Melanie xxx
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When will all these insecurities end? [Feb. 26th, 2012|01:31 pm]
[Current Mood |aggravatedaggravated]

Answer: Never. 

Was spending my whole morning on Tumblr and after each page, I can literally just kill myself. How can  all these girls be that beautiful, like it's genetically impossible. Lucky is what they are and I'm jut feeling like shit again.. Hate how my life just sucks and worse part is that this is something I can do nothing about. Like what the fuck seriously. I really don't know how to love myself for who I am or how I look like. It's never ending. I guess once you were an ugly duckling, you'll always feel like an ugly duckling. Never good enough. 
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The Alternate Route [Feb. 24th, 2012|10:11 pm]
[Current Mood |crushedcrushed]

Considering the amount of failure that I had faced in my life (although 19 and a half years seems so short), it is just so easy to get all mad with God. I always have to live the alternate route. I'm not like one of those lucky people in life who can get anything and everything they want- school, career, looks, the ideal body, guys, blah blah blah. People like me have to actually work hard and then still get crushed at the end of the day. Why? Why do I have to go through this time and time again? It's also so easy to say "Hey everything happens for a reason" or "Look at the positives in things". Well hello, I have not seen the reason yet and time is running out. Sometimes I feel betrayed by my own life because the more I do things to make my life seem better, situations after situations will just continuously knock me down. Do I have to go through interviews to get into schools because my grades aren't good enough to let me in automatically? Likewise, do I have to go for the SQ interview like 10 million times in order to get in? How many times do I have to prove to people? It's never enough. How many times must I get knocked down, seriously, I've had enough. I wasn't born lucky. This is something which I really REALLY want. I just guess that I have to plan an alternate route in life again because I can never EVER get what I want in life. Shit happens.
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20 January 2012 [Jan. 20th, 2012|08:54 pm]
[Current Mood |happyhappy]

Our first ever concert together- Foster The People

"Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you I had no control over. We began as strangers. We became friends. We became one with each other. Happy 3 Years Melanie-Tracy :)"

I love you so much Glenn. Though we are unable to celebrate our anniversary together, there will always be other days (and years) to celebrate!  We've been through thick and thin together, but what still remains is our love for each other. I love you so much, you have no idea. Thank you for being mine :)

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And as our lives change [Jan. 17th, 2012|04:10 pm]
[Current Mood |hopefulhopeful]

  • Finish the last part of my Portfolio
  • Submit Research Question
  • Group Project
  • Do Research Question
  • Get Peer Appraisals
27th January 2012 will mark the end of my internship with Tiger Airways. 22nd February 2012 will mark the end of my student life at Temasek Polytechnic.

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Melanie Iglesias [Jan. 16th, 2012|02:06 pm]
[Current Mood |enviousenvious]

Inspired! She's absolutely gorgeous and am dying to figure out her workout routine. Have been googling it for a couple of hours now and have yet to find it! My expectations: Mad exercising, sheer endurance, plenty of water, cutting off all unhealthy stuff (there goes my weekly dose of Starbucks Mocha Frappe & 3 Cheese Jalapeno Twist pastry) and basically whatever we've been told but just never did. Temptation is one motherfucking bitch. I just came back from a very fulfilling run but only to indulge myself in a chocolate bar. Sneakers to be exact. How like that?! I've given myself a timeline- just like every other year- to have the ideal body that I wanna achieve by a certain time. And in this case, I have till Easter to make my body look somewhat like that. It will be a very long and agonizing road ahead but I'll have to find a way to try to enjoy working out. This is pretty depressing.
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Decisions Decisions [Jan. 8th, 2012|08:06 pm]
To go to Uni or not?
To go for SQ interview now or continue with Tiger first?

I don't want to make another wrong decision EVER again. 
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"The sweetness of doing absolutely nothing" [Nov. 4th, 2011|10:26 pm]
[Current Mood |anxiousanxious]

Or as the Italians call it, "dolce far niente."

I came back from my 10 hour Manila flight and reached home at about 11am only to nestled myself onto the couch and watch the tele the entire day! Yes, literally the entire day! Instead of catching up with my sleep, I succumbed to the temptations of having free movie channels for the next couple of days. That day, I watched 4 movies. The next day 3 and today, 3. See if I can recall some of them- Eat Pray Love (the inspiration to this post as seen by the title), 50 First Dates, Rugrats the Movie (reminiscing my childhood days), Pearl Harbour, All About Steve (staring a not so famous Bradley Cooper back then, and Sandra Bullock), Charlie St. Cloud, etc.. I didn't go for my evening runs, neither did I even counted the amount of calories I was consuming (which I always did). Instead I took the bus to Northpoint, got myself a sinful cup of Starbucks Peppermint Mocha Grande Frappe (on a cold day) and Jalapenos & Cheese pastry and headed back home. I'm amazed at myself sometimes. Why can't I put in this much effort into buying my own dinner at the coffeeshop near my house? My days have been great and I wish to have more days like this, but sadly, after a 2 and a half days off from flying, I'll be heading back tomorrow.. MORNING! Heading to HK again (I speak as though I'm really gonna visit that place) and am on standby on Sunday. Next weeks destinations are far less exciting ranging from Hanoi to Chennai, India. I love my job, don't get me wrong, it just sucks to see passengers all ready to have fun at a particular destination and poor me has to come back to Singapore. Well, it was fun being a couch potato while it lasted. I should be asleep now considering the fact that I need to wake up at 5am tomorrow morning but I woke up so late today. Gotta force myself to bed then. Buona Notte!
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(no subject) [Oct. 29th, 2011|12:29 am]

"Wake me my baby
Don't let me sleep
Open my eyes
To the wonders you keep
Let me look at you
See how you shine
I'll fall in love
Like I've done every time"

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The exception. [Oct. 27th, 2011|04:33 pm]
[Current Mood |determineddetermined]

"A wise person once told me that if a guy wants to be with a girl, he will make it happen, no matter what. "
Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up: if a boy punches you he likes you, never try to trim your own bangs, and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. every movie we see, every story we're told implores us to wait for it: the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. but sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. how to tell the ones who want us from the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. and maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. maybe the happy ending is just moving on. or maybe the happy ending is this: knowing after all the unreturned phone calls and broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment, you never gave up hope.
- He's Just Not That Into You.

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The nights are lonely, the days are sad [Oct. 14th, 2011|06:50 pm]
[Current Mood |stressedstressed]

I pretend that I'm glad you went away
these four walls close in more every day
And I'm dyin' inside
And nobody knows it but me

Like a clown I put on a show
The pain is real, even if nobody knows
And I'm cryin' inside
And nobody knows it but me

Why didn't I say
The things I needed to say
How could I let my angel get away
Now my world is just a tumblin' down
I can see it so clearly
But you're nowhere around

The nights are lonely, the days are so sad and
I just keep thinkin' about the love that we had
And I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me

I carry a smile
when i'm broken in two
and i'm nobody
without someone like you
i'm tremblin' inside
and nobody knows it but me

I lie awake
it's a quarter past 3
i'm screamin at night
if i thought you'd hear me
yeah, my heart is calling you
and nobody knows it but me
How blue can I get, you could ask my heart
Just like a jigsaw puzzle it's been torn all apart
A million words couldn't say
Just how I feel
A million years from now you know
I'll be lovin' you still

The nights are lonely, the days are so sad and
I just keep thinkin' about the love that we had
And I'm missing you
And nobody knows it but me
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Flickr [Aug. 24th, 2011|05:12 pm]
[Current Mood |stressedstressed]

Yes, I've been wanting to create a Flickr account and now I have!
Do check it out because I'll be deleting my pictures on Facebook :)

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Fcking adore them! [Jul. 19th, 2011|12:42 am]
[Current Mood |indescribableindescribable]

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INJUSTICE [Jun. 14th, 2011|08:41 pm]
[Current Mood |tiredtired]

 Today was a yet another torturous day as we speak. It's the second day of my Tiger Airways internship and I'm already falling into pieces. Somehow I knew I'd feel like this when I signed up for it at the very beginning. The need for perfection and beauty is of  vital importance in this industry. As of yesterday, I was appalled as I gazed at the weighing machine. I officially am now at a staggering weight of 55kg! What happened to all my "daily jogs in the evening" and "cutting down on snacking"? To make matters worse, the girls in this batch (all 9 of them) are super skinny. This sucks. When am I gonna stop being so complacent and actually do something about my fluctuating weight. I wanna stop my weight issues NOW, I'm so fucking tired. If I can't even handle training, how can I even tackle all those times where I have to wake up in the wee hours in the morning/night just to fly? Flustered about my weight, looks and just everything along those lines. God help me, help me see that I'm beautiful. I don't want to feel like this EVER again.
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Counting my blessings [Jun. 11th, 2011|11:16 pm]
[Current Mood |gratefulgrateful]

 I've secured a place as an Air Stewardess at Tiger Airways for my overseas internship. Well, I wouldn't technically call it going "overseas" but I'll still be flying out of Singapore and back again in the same day. As astounded as I was when I heard the verdict, there was not a single ounce of me that felt like celebrating. Yes I'm thankful but I cannot fathom why they picked me. My grades aren't fantastically over the top, neither are features much of an air stewardess (plus the pimples and all). Questioning myself on how I got this far, I could only figure out one thing,this must be the true works of God himself. Though I may not not have been spiritually intact with Him these days, but He still gives. I don't know how or why but He does somehow. I'm gratefully counting all my blessings and I just want to thank everyone who sincerely prayed for me, especially Isabel (OMG this is my first time calling you Isabel).

Bel always had so much hope in me. She is a believer and I trust you. Friends like her rarely come by. Friends like her rarely stay in my life. Thank you for all your hopes and prayers Bel. You are dee best.

Needless to say, my mother needs some applause as well. She has been the backbone my entire life. I'm humbled upon all the things she has done for me and my family. It saddens me to see how unappreciative I am to her sometimes. Hope and love seems to be more evident in my life now. Glenn and I are falling more and more in love together each day. Change has brought so much more peace in my life. I thought it may be difficult to change but it truly isn't. It's just this wall that needs to be broken in order for you to overcome all the endless impossibilities coming  your way. Glenn has given me countless chances after chances and everyone has a limit (and mine is uber low). I love him for his patience, tolerance, hope, and above all, his unconditional love. Never thought I'd be this happy. Never thought I could come this far. Optimism is what I need to have, and relentless strength.

Day and night I'll pray for a better society. Though I'm feeling over the top of the moon right now, I'm dumbfounded at how ugly society really is. I wanna change that, but how? How to erase the evil that humanity started.
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Believe me baby, I will, we will [Jun. 11th, 2011|10:44 pm]
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(no subject) [May. 25th, 2011|05:10 pm]
[Current Mood |calmcalm]

 Tiger Airways Internship Interview Tomorrow! stoked.
Saying bye bye to my brown hair tonight
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(no subject) [May. 18th, 2011|12:15 am]
In these trials I face,
I pray you humble me.
Humble me.
I want to be more and more like you Jesus.
I was crucified on that day with Christ
Nailing you there with sin, accepting you.
I nailed my soul to the cross
And now my life begins
This world so cold but your love keeps me warm
My father holds me in his nailed scarred hands
which I put there
But for some reason,
He still loves me with all his heart.
Even though I betray him constantly,
He always keeps His arms open.
Waiting for me.
Til I give up my old ways.
God my Father, you are the only one that can give me comfort
You touch my heart in such a way
That all I can do is to cry your name.
Jesus Christ I love you.
My heart aches for your love.
A love so pure.
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Internship [May. 3rd, 2011|11:09 pm]
[Current Mood |contentcontent]

So the day has finally arrived. I have to make a decision within the next 2 weeks and decide whether or not I should apply for overseas internship which comprises of the Four Seasons Hotel & Resort in freakin' MALDIVES (calm down! calm down!), Seychelles, Mauritius, Langkawi or China (not even gonna be thinking bout China). Apart from that, I also have to consider local internship. Top on my list are Capella Resort at Sentosa, Resorts World Sentosa and Four Seasons Hotel. Then comes the Changi Airport Group, Tiger Airways and- wait for it!- the Singapore Zoo! Hahaha. Interning at the Zoo may not seem applicable to some but hey, our Zoo is the best in the world okay and my anxiety for the opening of the new River Safari has just turned into a burst of excitement! Just a year more till its opening and already I'm so psyched about it!

In spite of today being the 4th of May, the point of realisation that I had to hand in my resume in 2 weeks time only came around 8pm last night. Facebook and Twitter were flooded with people ranting bout completing their resumes and I just felt so back-dated. Nevertheless, I took out my old dusty Communication Skills textbook for reference and began typing out my resume. After about 6 long exhausting hours of drafting my resume, it is completed. 

Will be praying hard and am glad with my decision.
Growing up seems to be drawing closer and closer after all. Hmmmm.
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So young money [Apr. 24th, 2011|04:40 pm]
[Current Mood |energeticenergetic]

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Future [Apr. 24th, 2011|04:31 pm]
[Current Mood |hungryhungry]

Senior Year has officially began and I can't help but feel like I'm going no where in this course. Being in a Hospitality & Tourism industry is kind of like being in an economy that is so money-driven, I mean VERY. How much revenue can we bring into the country? Can we double the visitor arrivals by 2015? Can we ensure that the tourism sector in Singapore remains competitive and continues to be a key contributor to the economy in the years to come? Money money money. Is it really all about the money? Or are we just being greedy cause we cannot be content with what we have now but continue to build and build and build, hence urbanisation/globalisation. People can never be fully satisfied with what they have, they always want more. Like when you get your pay and decide to indulge in shopping and spend a bomb on all of your new stuff, you go home, display them on your bed to see what you have splurged on and feel guilty bout buying them for spending your hard earned cash on them. And then you wake up the next week, with the intention of wanting to go shopping again. It's a vicious cycle. Anyway, when I graduate next year, I'll be stuck. Aimless. I've always wanted to fly SIA but knowing that I can't grow any taller and seeing the level of competition there is, my dreams are slowly beginning to peter out. Personally, I would really just like a laid-back kinda job like photography. Though my photography skills are not that great, I would really like to pursue this, not as a secondary job but as my career. It needs a lot of brushing up and practice. I need to find an inspiration. It's scary come to think of it, the future. For in a years time, I have to make all these decisions. University? Work? Responsibilities? What will they be?

Oh and I'm feenin' for kway chap now -.-
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When It Knocks You Down [Apr. 12th, 2011|02:25 am]
[Current Mood |pessimisticpessimistic]

 "If breaking hearts was a crime, then all boys will be locked up for life."

I succumbed to you. I blame me and only me for falling into an abyss of my own despair. How do we cure ourselves from these emotional breakdowns and revive ourselves from the pain of heartbreak? This is my third night questioning myself to sleep, inconsolable. Am feeling an enormous pain right now that is more than anything imaginable. I've always been the liability in this relationship and it sure doesn't help by skimming through my Formspring just to see the indecent and offensive things anonymous has to say bout me. Lesson learned: I will disallow myself to entertain such buggers in order to prevent any further internal damage. Don't get me wrong, I'm not afflicted by it. Just feel so sympathetic for anon. His life is so messed up and bewildered by all the shit he's going through himself (or herself). 

My mind is listless and fatigue. Sleep can't come by as easy as I thought it would but impatience lingers throughout the entire night. People, I mean myself, can change, they can, they just don’t because it's easier not to. We're always waiting for our lives to begin, and like figuring we'll be someone else someday. But, after this argument, what am I waiting for? You are all I really have now and I won't run from this. I won't run if you promise to believe in me that I can. People keep knocking me down. I just gotta get back up, but how?
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I never meant to hurt you. Not then, not now. [Apr. 10th, 2011|04:20 pm]
[Current Mood |draineddrained]

 They say that for every laugh you laugh, you'll prolong your life span by at least a day. I wonder then, for every heartbreak we face, does that mean that our lives are cut short? If that's so then I guess I might die sooner than expected. Out of the 7 days in a week, I spend at least 4 nights crying myself to sleep. You, on the other, never cry. And that's what scares me the most. The rage in you has been kept in your heart long pass its expiry date. Bitterness is easy, and hatred is even easier. Forgiveness, now that is a tough one. Sometimes people say things they don't mean or do things they can't take back. Sometimes we do things we can't take back. We're all afraid of something. Am trying to unburden myself from the mistakes of my past. And I know that when I do, my heart will grow stronger, I should know. Mine was supposed to go out long time ago. But it doesn't mean that what I had done is forgotten. The past will always be remembered, my mistakes that is. I don't really know where I'm going with this but I hope you do. I never meant to hurt you. Not then, not now.
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(no subject) [Mar. 24th, 2011|07:23 pm]
 Our death brings no pleasure to this world
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(no subject) [Mar. 20th, 2011|05:24 pm]
[Current Mood |peacefulpeaceful]

 It's a beautiful day today
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(no subject) [Mar. 18th, 2011|11:20 pm]
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One Tree Hill Overdrive [Mar. 17th, 2011|11:48 pm]
[Current Mood |busy]

One of my favourite quotes from one of the most inspiring tv shows ever, One Tree Hill.

Albert Camus once wrote, "Blessed are the hearts that can bend. They shall never be broken."

But I wonder - if there's no breaking, then there's no healing.
And if there's no healing, then there's no learning.
And if there's no learning, then there's no struggle...
But the struggle is a part of life... so musn't all hearts be broken?
-Lucas Scott, One Tree Hill

Having a massive One Tree Hill marathon now. Visit www.uwatchonetreehill.com (okay i know cheesy much) to watch all the latest episodes. Okay bring on 'em waterworks now..
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Look At Me Now [Mar. 17th, 2011|08:45 pm]

"Look at me now, look at me now
Oh, I'm getting paper
Look at me now
Oh, look at me now
Yeah, fresh than a muthaf-cker"
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fashiontoast [Mar. 15th, 2011|03:25 pm]
[Current Mood |energeticenergetic]

Am lovin' Rumi Neely's style! Her Californian-boho look is inspiring and not the usual kind of look that many girls can pull off. Her sense of style is purely natural, by instinct, rather than trends I find. It's inspiring and she writes so well on her fashion blog (www.fashiontoast.com), hence the title of this post. My wardrobe is made up of nothing much but dull, indifferent, uninspiring items and empty. Yes, empty. Apparently, heaps of my "yester-years" clothes are packed in a huge bulky luggage bag, ready to be sold off at this Saturday's Flashbang IV Flea at the Flyer. Decided to take this opportunity to get rid of the old and in with the new. My style has somewhat turned into a casual mess ever since school started at Sentosa. I guess I just got accustomed to the laid-back attitude of everyone else, finding absolutely no means of dressing up to school. Simply just wearing a tank-top with denim shorts, SLIPPERS, and a bagpack. No point in mixing and matching. After much unproductivity, I need to unwind myself with a cool evening jog and kick in into watching my nightly 90210 overdrive!
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1:18pm [Mar. 15th, 2011|01:46 pm]
[Current Mood |fullfull]
[Current Music |Just can't get enough- BEP]

 As much as I was anticipating and counting down the days till the holidays came, there's really nothing much to be that ecstatic about anymore. In the spirit of laziness and utter boredom, I find myself a need to break away from my usual "afternoon wake up" regime. My itinerary for this holiday was suppose to have kick start with daily trips to the gym, accompanied by searching for a job to resolve the solution for my empty pocket, and finally do away with anything that doesn't involve living life to the fullest. So far, none of these have been met, okay maybe except one. Took a rather sluggish evening jog not too long ago and played soccer last Saturday which was eventful. Opted to go for an evening swim today with Bel, since she is also on this health binge. Hopefully by next semester cum back at Temasek Poly (I miss school at Sentosa already), I would at least not be out of shape and back to my what supposedly should be my ideal weight. 

"Your goals, minus your doubts, equal your reality"
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Ayo Breezy [Mar. 14th, 2011|07:05 pm]
[Current Mood |bouncybouncy]
[Current Music |Look at me now- Chris Brown ft. Busta Rhymes and Lil' Wayne]

The guy seriously has some sick moves! Inspired.
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Take away all my sadness [Mar. 14th, 2011|06:36 pm]
[Current Location |In the comfort of my own room]
[Current Mood |contentcontent]

It's hard to grasp the reasons why I feel so lost. Hurt is the right  word to use right now, but I only brought this upon myself. All these unbearable trials and tribulations us couples go through is no walk in the park. It's ongoing, yes, but it's also manageable. It's part of the learning process, isn't it? My take is that these 'bad phases' in relationships are healthy though painful but still healthy. Time after time I just keep messing things up, fucking things up and in the end, hurting the one that I love the most.  Why can't I bring myself to realise that I need to grow up and not take things between Glenn and I for granted? There's bound to be situations like this, especially when you have passed the two-year mark. It's this point of time where our faith, love and patience will be tested. Will we find solutions and change for the better? Or runaway from it?

Love suppose to be a many splendour thing, full of compassionate love, whimsical, getting frequent and random "what are you up to?" texts/calls, inspiring, etc.. Funny thing is that I didn't expect the unexpected to happen.  That's what love is about isn't it? Expecting the unexpected. Keeping expectations is not healthy, just kills you and eventually destroy both you and your relationship, leaving absolutely nothing to salvage them. That's one of my many flaws as a girlfriend. Self-centered, unappreciative, forever jealous and spiteful. I thought I knew it all, considering the fact that I've been in a relationship practically throughout my teenage years, I thought I might be an expert in this area of field. Boy was I wrong.

Point is that I should stop drowning myself in self-pity and take that step to grow as an individual in the relationship so that we both can grow healthily as a couple. Not saying that we're aiming for the "altar" just yet, but am trying to accept my flaws, grow from them, and make our love whimsical, full of compassion and inspiring.

They say that "the best thing to cure a broken heart is time and glfriends".. forget that! It's more than just saying those three words before you sleep, more than just mere words sung in a stupid song.. It's worth fighting for, worth risking for. "And the trouble is if you don't risk everything, you're risking even more."

I guess I'm not so lost anymore.
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